It was one very cold winter day when my mom was waiting to have me. I had four people in my real family at the time. My two brothers, mom, and dad. I was originally from Anchorage, Ak. and moved to Unalakleet the day after I was born. We have three pets and live in Unalakleet, Ak. now. My life has had many exciting adventures like all my gifts, winter, and summer activities.
There are many exciting gifts in my life that are really cool. My most favorite gift is my four-wheeler because I use it all the time and it’s so fun to ride. Some of my other favorite gifts are my video games. The gifts I use most are my skate board, four-wheeler,
motorbike, and my snow-machine. Some more gifts I got are my snowboard and my snow skate. I have many electronics like all my remote controlled toys and stuff like that. I hope my gifts last me forever.
Winter is my favorite time of the year. We even got our first computer in winter. That computer was fun until I broke it playing pinball. I also like winter because of Christmas. On Christmas day I got my first four-wheeler, which I really liked. It was one of my favorite gifts I got. I also like winter because of the snow and because you can ride snow machines. Each year I can’t wait tell winter comes because of all the fun I have.
Even though winter is my favorite time of the year, I still like summer. Summer is so much fun too, because of bible camp. It is one of the reasons I like summer too. At bible camp you can meet new friends, swim, sing songs, and lots of other fun things. In summer you can ride motorbikes and four-wheelers, which I really like to do. Also, I can bicycle on a four-wheeler better, so I can show off. I hope in the future my summer will be fun.
My life so far has been very exciting with all my gifts, winter, and summer activities and I hope it stays that way. So far I liked all my gifts, especially my motorbike and my four-wheeler. In summer I have so much fun going to bible camp and riding my vehicles. I also like that there was no school. Winter has also been fun riding snow machines and snowboarding, so far. I hope my life will be as exciting in the future
Your paper is really good but I think the title could be changed to something like “The Gifts I Get And The Seasons I Like” to better reflect what your paper is really about. When I first read your paper, I thought it would be a biography. Another thing I noticed was that you used “I” a lot. You can try to find a word or a phrase to substitute those words. There were also a lot of “my”s used in the paper too. I think it would sound better if those were substituted also.